Location: St. George, Utah
I miss my family. So much. I miss my cute nieces and nephews, my siblings, my parents. And I’m sad. I wanna go home, but I don’t have a home. My heart hurts.
I miss home. And mountains I’m used to seeing. And familiarity. And restaurants I’m used to. And friends. I miss friends!
I don’t miss the constant overcast of the sky blotting out the beautiful visibility of the sun during the winter season. And all the traffic. But I miss all the rest.
Today I longed to go to the Temple. I’ve had a hard time having a desire to go. Most of the time I go because I know I’m ‘supposed to’ and then I end up really glad I went. But tonight? Tonight I actually wanted to go. And I can’t. I didn’t realize – at least in the experiential kind of way – just how blessed I was living within an hour and a half of 9 Temples. 9.
The St. George Temple is closed for cleaning, Cedar City isn’t complete, yet. So the next closest Temple is in Vegas and it’s almost a 2 hour drive. One way.
I long to go. Now.
I miss my Father, too. I miss my Brothers. I miss my Mama…oh more than I miss anything else in my realm of existence. (And I’m not talking about any of my earthly family, here.) I miss them. Oh how I long to see them, and throw my arms around them, and bury my face in their neck, and let their hair dry my tears of sheer excitement and gratitude and joy.
I long for that day.
Until then? I have this: feeling guilty for feeling anxious and depressed while living one of my dreams.
Even though it sucks, at times, I am blessed. And I know it. And I’m grateful through it all. Even when it’s hard. And I rejoice in this horrible hate filled condemning world of Hope and Light and Love.
It’s all about God. And in the end, we will all know why…and it won’t matter anymore. And we will have grown and become the us we desired to be. And all will be well.
Until then, I love you.
After then, I still love you.
And I appreciate you and hope you know of my love. For Jesus. And for you. And I do. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
All my love and hope for light,